feels I cant even

August 17, 2013 § Leave a comment


so I finally got my shyte together and decided whats wrong with me.

ahah, okay.

But in all seriousness, I’m finally understand and accepting my new life. Like i’m at the peak of my teenagerishhood thingy that everybody seems to pass through. (I’m only making this deduction because all songs seem to fit my life perfectly.)

It seems like a whirlwind of alcohol, party and boys, but really when you’re up at 4 in the morning eating in a nearby food place with your close friends talking about anything and everything, time just pauses.

And you’ll learn to appreciate the ‘slowness’ in life. Appreciate what makes you happy. Learnt that there’s more to life than beyond what you read. Learn that partying isn’t everything. Learn that getting high isn’t everything. Discover that sometimes all you need is the cool breeze and good company.

And I finally feel happy.

Like legit happy.

I used to think I was happy but really, i was just ‘trying’ to be. I don’t really know how to explain this, like, I was so caught up trying to ‘improve’ my life, trying to get better at things that i never realize where i stood itself was close to perfection. I kept longing for what I don’t already have, never appreciating what i did have.

Maybe its all because i have been low for so long, i feel infinite now.

As of now, life is perfect. No i do not have a significant other, nor do i have the perfect grades. My friends are crazy, my family hard to please.

But i guess you just have to see how imperfect things are to realize that everything is actually perfect.



p.s songs likee This is What Makes Us Girls- Lana Del Rey, Homewrecker- Marina and the Diamonds etc etc.. (because i’m too lazy to think)


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