July 27, 2013 § Leave a comment
its been urmmmmm….
A long time okay. I know .
But its not like anyone reads this blog so ahah ahah ahah.
A little update since i last left off. Well, my school has started (duh).
so I’ll start with school.
DEFINITELY NOT WHAT I EXPECTED. i was so ‘un-used’ to school and being thrown into a whole new environment pushed me off course. I even cried (well, i was high:/) about coping with it.
But i’ve gotten use to it now. Its still extremely hectic and freaking taxing on poor poor me, but i’m managing myself -and my new life- well now. (i hope.) My school friends are awesomeee. they are drama-free, stress-free, and they make me laugh all day. I swear. And for once in my life, I can call my guy friend ACTUAL guy friend and MEAN IT. Because before all my ‘guy friends’ were more like acquaintance. Maybe it was due to my extreme shyness and lack of confidence to speak to someone of the opposite gender before. But not anymore.
Enough about school! i wanna talk about my ‘ new life’.
You know how they say when you’re in (imnotgoingtosaythenameoftheschooliminforanonreasons), you’ll meet people of bad influences? WELL, THEY CANNOT BE MORE WRONG. They are so goody that I SEEM LIKE THE BAD INFLUENCE. And we all know that isn’t true. Okay, well, maybe its slightly true because i changed a little. Okay ALOT. At least according to my high school friends and my brother.
I’ve became friends with people i least expect too and made new friends that ‘old’ me would have never dreamt to talk to. Okay i’m exaggerating here, i wouldn’t talk to them but i would get close to them geddit? Because we were from different worlds, but now it seems we are living in the same planet. I still have relatively ‘normal’ friends, its not like i did a 360 and change my whole outlook. Heck, i didn’t even realised I’ve changed till others mentioned it.
So what is this ‘change’ i seem to be going on and on about?
Well, i’m more ‘outgoing’ now, to put it nicely.
I party quite abit, (once a week the past month, BUT NOT ANYMORE since school started i minimised it.) And I’ve kissed. A guy. Okay, more than 1 guy. many guys:/. Don’t judge. Hey some of them I’ve dated so that’s alright.
Its crazy, it all started out because i wanted experience and it just took off from there. One guy after another (HEY its not like i kiss ever guy that hit on me, i’m learning to pick and choose now.), one party after another. And the best part is you would think you’ll get nervous or be awkward when you’re alone with some guy, but it really isn’t. I would just do something that i feel like and it’ll feel right and the guys seem to like it. AHA.
Maybe it’s the alcohol. But I did stuff like that sober too so hmmm.
I guess you just don’t have to think so much about what to do next, how to move you’re arm etc, but rather do what makes you feel comfortable. LIKE LITERALLY GET COMFORTABLE. And i’m not implying sex. -.-
Okay that seemed like a very slutty thing to write, and it is. But i really want to remember how i feel right now at this moment before i ‘change’ again.
Part of me don’t really know what the heck i’m doing. Yet another part of me still want to continue with this ‘experience’.
I mean I’m still young, I just want to have fun now- at least for the next 3 years- before i graduate and have to work. THEN i want to settle and take things slowly.
its clear to me now that my mindset has changed.
For better or worse i haven’t yet decided.
still saving my kisses,