March 15, 2013 § Leave a comment
I have a fear of going to bed.
For the past couple of nights and counting, my night never ends. I am just unable to sleep anymore.
Well, yes this has happened before but usually Joe Brooks croning softly into my ear would be enough to send me into a deep slumber.
But recently even that have difficulty putting me to sleep.
It kind of makes me wonder HOW then did I usually fall to sleep.
But that is besides the point.
I can’t sleep and can’t do a damn thing about it.
Maybe it’s because I don’t have a fan or use an aircon. ( might i add its especially warm now)
Or because I stress/think too much. ( ironic since I’m not doing anything and therefore have nothing to stress about)
I have tried many many ways to make myself sleep; all of which had the ability to rock me to sleep prior to my encounterment with insomnia.
For instance- waking up earlier, tiring myself out throughout the day, let the likes of joe brooks sing me to sleep and closing my eyes and think :’blankblankblankblank’.
And none of them work anymore!
So much so I feel like crying because I realise I’m an insomniac and I can’t sleep. CAN’T SLEEP.
Did you know being sleep deprived can cause death? I know right! Me neither!
And I don’t want to die! I’m too young and have yet to experience anything! Heck I haven’t even had my first kiss!
Yeah total loser blah blah blah..this isn’t a post of me being a loser.
Like one night, I came home totally shagged; too tired to change to my pjs, too tired to wash my face. And when I finally fell into the comfort of my bed, I couldn’t sleep!
Thought after thought constantly popped into my head, leaving me sleepless. And I lay there for 3 WHOLE HOURS. Not to mention I had to wake early to meet my friend. So with 5 hours of sleep I managed to get I went to meet my friend the next day. And guess what? I felt like dying the entire time! My head hurt in a way it hadn’t for a long time and I just hate that feeling.
And I get that feeling all because of dang insomnia. Gosh I hate you.
Even now as I’m typing this I can’t sleep it’s past 12 and I’m trying to make it a point to go to sleep by 10.30 because I’m trying to beat this insomnia thing but it looks like I’m losing here.
I really have no other remedy for this thing, and it sucks. It suck so bad. I just want to sleep and not dread it. Is that such a hard thing to ask?
P.s Godd I hate this new auto saving.