solution to emotions

Why, hello there.

It’s been, say, months since I last updated this blog:0

NO WONDER it’s so awkward.(to be typing…on this blog..)

But none the less, helloo.

huh, really really awkward..

Sooo, I’ll just get to the point. Exams are over!

I’m never ever EVER going to sit for another accounts/biology/physics/geography etc etc paper!

WHAT A RELIEVE.

Three heart ranching and stomach turning years had finally come to an end. The days of cramming and forcing information down my throat, only to go bulimic and vomit it all out during the exams are over.

I feel a sense of relief and freedom coursing through my veins, and yet…..

I have this funny sensation in the pit of my stomach. Swirls of the past upsets me and my tumtum as I realised how different things are going to be from this day forth. I mean, I WON’T start school next jan. I WON’T be wearing a school uniform next year onwards. I WON’T be close to some of my friends as destiny seperates us.And I WON’T be a high school student anymore.

Is it more than just anticipating the change that I have this dark feeling in me? Is it because I can’t seem to let go?That I felt I didn’t do my best. That I’m not ready for a change? Am I scared to move on? Or do I just need to shyte so badly?(since my tummy hurt that much :/)

I thought writting this post would clear whatever it was on my mind these past few days, but it didn’t. I’m still confused – and maybe even more so now- as to why I feel this way.

I always though I was ready to get out of high school, start anew and all that bullcrap. But now, I don’t know. WHY THE FUCK DO I FEEL THIS WAY??!!!

It’s just soo fwasstrating.

But I know I can’t harbor onto the past. I gotta keep going and move on. I can’t get stuck in high school all my life. Or at least I know I don’t want to.

Maybe it’s just knowing how much things are going to change disarrays me a tad bit. BUT I think (well, hope) I’ll adapt like I usually do.

Saying that does make me feel less afraid of my impending future. Slightly.

oh fuckit, I’m just going to enjoy my break while it last and not bother about this. I can’t possibly address every single thing that’s wrong with me. There’s too much!

Well then, with things brushed under the rug, all I can say is hopefully I’ll blog more.

zzzzzzzzzzz,(‘cos I don’t do x’s and o’s)

A.G

p.s I don’t get myself. why was writting this post so awkward when my other post(on another blog) wasn’t?